it is night; in the dark we are afraid. yet, as the day comes up i feel terrified
to see the reality that surrounds me,

it seems that what i have always believed in, has started to disintegrate.
as i walk, the city appears as normal, as though nothing has changed.
but somehow beyond the surface it feels different; the colours, the lights.
and still, we are left with impassible silence.

i’m looking for you, my gaze can’t reach anything beyond this darkness…
fleeting lights, crossing endless streams of cars and bodies.
...everything is floating.

i need a response… a sign.
…this world is mute…
i am in a world of silence.

but i must find you... neither of us made the decision to come here; you were
forced to flee your homeland, and i could not stay in mine anymore
for fear of becoming paralysed.

those vast vessels which once carried our dreams… all are empty now.
the war has changed everything, it has come with a price.
i only wish, at this very moment, i could love you again, to find you where you
may be. if only it were that easy…

that morning we walked through the orchards
at the barada valley is still as vivid as if it were yesterday… all destroyed, rubble now,
the long moments that followed were a growing agony of fear and yet, you wanted
to stay. this is my place, habibi, this is where i belong.
...this war will be long.
​
i left with no goodbye, inflicting myself with an injury that has grown since.
i’m changing, i am becoming… without you, without knowing your fate,
​this sickness has taken over me.